Amusing the Muse

It all began with a study conducted in the US.

There is always a study or survey going on in the US. Always. All through the year.

There is too much studying going on there, I can tell you that. And it is really quite amazing that they have the time and resources to conduct so many! No wonder all our Indian students make a beeline to the US to pursue their grad school studies.

And the wide variety of subjects that are studied is even more amazing. They've even studied how many people wash their hands after doing peepee.

But some take the cake.

Literally.

This is a study about mood and food.

Carried out as part of a study of addiction, it is thought to be the first to link individual foods with particular states of mind. Cynthia Power, the Illinois based psychotherapist behind the study says: “Food can be used to change the feelings the person doesn’t want to have.”

This study had found that a person’s choice of food is dictated by their state of mind and diners apparently seek out particular dishes to regulate how they feed. 500 people were selected for this study and were asked to keep a diary of their choices of meals.

And based on those records, the conclusion has been drawn that when it comes to betraying mood, it seems, you are what you eat…or rather, you eat what you are!

Why would anyone want to keep a diary of their meal choices? What kind of guilt-loving maniacs would willingly submit themselves to a task of recording what they eat, meal after meal? I’ll be honest with you – I have no idea!

So guess what the findings are…

Eating steak is a symbol of pent up anger, gorging on chips means you are stressed, people going through crises like divorce revert to foods like custard and ice cream, jealous people often stack their plates indiscriminately – a consequence of having to compete with siblings at the dinner table in childhood, bulky fill-up-the stomach foods like rice and pasta assuage loneliness and if you fill up on cakes and other starchy foods like biscuits, pretzels and bread, you are sexually frustrated.

This is scary, my friends! It is one of those, “Be afraid, be very afraid” situations. I tell you this because I took stock of the state of affairs, did my own study based on the results of this study.

Here I was worrying about getting old at 30, but it looks like I am now also a confirmed completely dysfunctional sociopath.

I am angry, sad, lonely, stressed, and desperately needing comfort!

Lucky I am not too hooked on to cakes!!!

And it doesn’t end there. I now have the terrible task of breaking the awful news to my friend that his four-year old is not the cherub he thought her to be.

Like every other kid, she likes her chips and ice cream and oh my god…she loves cakes! Tch…tch…tch…what has the world come to! The poor little girl is already sexually frustrated at just four!

I'll leave you there, good readers, with just one more thought. If the people with personality disorders eat up all the rice and bread and steak and chips and cakes, what do happy people eat?